So when shit went down, between the boyfriend, or between friends and their friends- I was dragged down too. That was pretty much all that occupied my thoughts at that young age.
In college, it was about bettering myself to keep up with the rest of the richie-rich kids. I couldn't allow myself to be surrounded by the brightest and most intelligent in the country and not be positively influenced by them. Of course, coming into college, that thought did not strike my thoughts at all. I could only go by the instincts and emotions that came as roller coaster thrills do on a day by day basis.
Even then, I did not think about the greater purpose outside of academics. There were still boyfriend problems, drama with the friends and roommate and on occasion-the paper freak outs with dear Gretel.
I never thought to look beyond those things. Perhaps the flaw of youth is that our perception is so shallow, we do not possess the insight to prepare for those future troubles. Without the kind guidance of family members and fellow experienced companions, who knows how far we might make it out of sheer instinct and will power. Of course taking such advice when we're so hawty and bold is on rare occasion as well.
Today at work was challenging. I didn't feel like myself and my students' energy were just really low. I don't know if it was the games, their moods, or even just me. I've never experienced this kind of lifestyle before-- everything is so peaceful and set into consistent motion. Why am I lagging around like a funny bump in a tire?
Maybe meditation, some martial arts, exercise and fresh air will help my spirits. I don't if it's the job, my hesitation, my homesickness, or maybe just a low level of hormones that is causing my spirits to be so gloomy. Trust Indie Arie to set things straight for me with her soothing, rhythmic guitar strums and wise voice.
Get it together phuong...
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